Marital Bliss

ImageThis past weekend, I served as a bridesmaid in my friends B and Bling’s wedding (they have been mentioned in an earlier post – we rang in 2011 together in Newport, RI).  It was quite a spectacular wedding and B looked just fabulous in a totally blinged out dress – the beadwork was just insane.  

Needless to say, it was a tough weekend in terms of avoiding fatty foods, white carbohydrates (those are the ones to avoid – basically if it’s white, don’t eat it), and sweetnesses galore.  The first stop on the train to fatville was for the bride and groom’s rehearsal dinner at Avenue, a beautiful restaurant, night club and pool club literally right over the sand overlooking the spectacular Jersey Shore (#fist pump).  No, it’s not the sad mess of the Jersey Shore highlighted on the show, but a serene place full of laid back people just enjoying the summer sun and soothing rhythm of the waves crashing on the sand.  Anyway, the rehearsal dinner was fabulous – it was more of a cocktail party with wonderful little passed apps and dun dun dun, a full display of my kryptonite, Baked By Melissa cupcakes.  Melissa did a specialty wedding cupcake for the month of June, which was like a pop of heaven, fat and sugar exploding in your mouth just to send waves of intense satisfaction through your veins (or maybe my veins are just getting gradually clogged over time).  

The next day, of course, was the wedding.  I woke up at 6:15 am to shower, apply my falsies to already falsely extended lashes, grab a medium coffee with skim and sweet n’ lo (I am fully aware sweet n’ lo is not good for you) and drove to Monmouth Beach, New Jersey, which is where the bride grew up.  It was a full morning of full on aesthetic debauchery with a house full of ten girls primping, curling, tantilizing (Tantilizer is the best body bronzer ever), and having our make-up done by a great make-up artist, Kristin from Makeup Luxe.  During all of this make-up madness, there was a big pile of bagels and donuts in the kitchen calling out my name – I had half a bagel with cream cheese and a sliver of a donut – eekkk!!!   After we were all dress and looking fabulous, particularly the bride, we darted over to the church and began the first day of the bride and groom’s marriage.  The ceremony was short and sweet and the bride looked so happy she was glowing.  

From the church, the entire bridal party hopped onto a large party bus to start party rockin’.  On the way, I was starving and ate way too many snacky things on the bus and then once we got to the reception all of my inner 700 lb fat girl dreams came true – there was just food everywhere!  But, then again, I guess that’s how weddings go.  Anyway, everything was fabulous and I hope the bride and groom enjoy their honeymoon in Bora Bora at the St. Regis.  Congratulations to them both and to their beautiful families.

FYI,  I’ve probably gained some elbeezies (lbs) this weekend but I’m too afraid to step on the scale to take a peak so instead I’ve spent the earlier portion of today working on stuff for my upcoming nuptials – the date is set for September 8, 2012.  


Fat Girl


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