Category Archives: Just Rambling

A Badge of Booty


As you may or may not know, the Girl Scouts of America sell their cookies, do community service and find other ways to add to our society – if they do so successfully, they win badges that go on their vests and little sash things (like the girls you see in the photo above.)  If I were a Girl Scout, I would certainly win the badge for “Enormous Jello Butt” as I have recently picked up an order of Girl Scout cookies from a co-worker at my office and proceeded to stuff my face with half a sleeve of Thin Mints.

Since my wedding, my body has expanded tremendously – my tatonga melons (as my husband refers to them) have swollen to the size of large grapefruits during the height of winter season and the cheeks on my face as well as the ones covered by my clothes have grown large enough to store acorns like a little chipmunk and large enough to make it clap, respectively.  Due to my unwanted body growth, I have been remiss in my posting updates because the fat that is taking over my body has also begun to take over my spirit – I don’t know if it’s the winter blues or the winter munchies or a combo of both, but I am just really tired and unmotivated lately.  I have little desire to leave my apartment, let alone put on a constricting sports bra and drag myself to the gym (although I have been trying to do so more recently, and have been relatively successful) and write to the world about my glorious workout and healthy eating regime because it just doesn’t exist right now.  I do extend my apologies to all my Fat Girl followers for my absence from the blogging world.

I guess what I need to take away from this Girl Scout cookie binge is the positiveness and overall drive of the organization (rather than their tasty and fattening little treats).  While I chow down on my next cookie, I will think positive thoughts, try to get myself to the gym tonight and try to keep up on my posts.  I love all you ladies out there who lose all self control around a Thin Mint (or a Tagalong.)


Fat Girl


“Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere”

Sigerson Morrison Markelly Booty

Who is up on this season’s booty trend?  No, not the J-LO kind of booty (although I am definitely up on that trend as I have quite the round bottom) – the booty that you slide your feet into.  I am trying to get into it, but I am really more of a knee-high boot kind of gal.

I ordered these Belle by Sigerson Morrison Markelly booties and I am wearing them for the first time today – I kind of feel like my booty is a bit too plump/voluptuous to rock them everywhere.  I feel like these particular booties require really long lean lines to look just right and the booty on my body is certainly anything but lean.  Gotta get to the gym!


Fat Girl

Pop Champagne

In the words of Jim Jones…

“Pop Champagne,
Ain’t a damn thing change,
Spray it in the air,
Make it champagne rain, ha!”

Pop Champagne!

So this year I am “making it champagne rain” in Newport, RI with my best friend from high school, B, and her fiance – let’s call him Bling since he laid a massive a rock on her skinny ring finger and has a great personality that sparkles more than bling. We all wanted to bust out of the circus that swallows NYC on NYE every year.

Doing New Year’s once in your lifetime in Manhattan is fun, but in my humble opinion, that’s really all you need, as it is really just the same headache every year. For all those fun-loving ladies and gents out there who are willing to freeze on the cobble stone streets of meat-packing waiting for cabs at 4:00 am – more power to ya – I’m just too old and tired and lazy to muster up that kind of motivation for a crowded club where it’s insanely hard to lay my fat lips on a glass of champagne that I prepaid $100 – $300 for weeks ago.

So, this year, as mentioned earlier, I’m ringing in the New Year like a 90-year-old woman with the boyfriend and our good friends Bling & B. We are driving up to Newport, RI with four bottles of bubbly in toe and a selection of five artisan cheeses, some crackers, some old school hits on a CD mix I will create later this evening, and a few board games. B and I were Taboo champs in high school – as we battled it out with other nerds at HTHS (High Technology High School – top rated -according to U.S. News and World Report- public high school for geeks that would be stuffed in lockers at normal high schools) during our lunch period. Hopefully B and I still got our bone-crushing Taboo game and we will polverize the boys.

We are staying at 41 North, a cute new hotel very close to all the Newport Mansions, which we are planning on touring on New Year’s day. Anyway, I plan on fully enjoying myself this weekend – no worries about how many points or calories are in a glass of champagne or in my entrees at dinner – I will hit the gym hard today, tomorrow and Friday and vow to try to continue to do so in the New Year.

Fat Girl

A Little Too Much Holiday Cheer

Dear Fat Girl “Minions” (to quote Ms. Blair Waldorf),

First off, I do apologize for abandoning all my lovely ladies for so long. I was totally bogged with work and then of course with preparing for the holidays. Every year, about a month or so before Christmas, I start to transform into a squat, semi-psychotic, and fully neurotic elf. If you ask the boyfriend, he can probably paint a better picture, but I will try in my own words – I actively try to turn as much of my world as possible in the North Pole. I make it a habit to buy new ribbons, bows, wrapping paper, and holiday cards each year – not that I have anything against recycling, I just enjoy the beauty of new aesthetic. I write cards for almost everyone I know and I spend hours upon hours meticulously wrapping and creating beautiful bows out of florist-style wired ribbon. This year my gift theme was bright green and red paper wrapped with a red tartan plaid ribbon with gold piping at the edges.

Okay, enough about my OCD gift wrap issues, let’s get to the real meat here – me! Literally, ladies, I feel like a big chunk of meat but instead of filet mignon, I’m more like a skirt steak – tons of fat, but on the upside, skirt steak is said to have a little more flava flave. What’s most frustrating, is that I have basically not moved from where I was last year at this time – stressed out, too tired/lazy to go to the gym, and well over my comfort zone when it comes to the scale at a whopping 140 lbs. So what is a girl to do? Cry, watch t.v. and order Goodburger from Seamlessweb? Well, that’s what I have been doing here and there, minus the crying, but I am totally aware that this is a completely unhealthy approach to my dissatisfaction with my belly that resembles J-E-L-L-O! I know I need to just start stuffing my face with raw veggies, lean proteins, and good fats till all the health food really gets to my brain and my legs start itching for the treadmill. And, I swear ladies, the gym is on my to-do list everyday – unfortunately I have an uncanny ability not to check it off.

I don’t know what it is about this time of year, maybe it’s the holiday cheer, maybe it’s the cold telling me to go into food storage hibernation mode, but all I want to do is lay in bed cozied up in PJs with a hot chocolate and some other calorie stuffed foods. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was just some beauty pill we could all pop in that was individually prescribed for the traits we each wanted – my beauty pill would suck in my belly, scoop out my butt so that it’s still plump but just a bit more toned, chisel my arms for those great Janet Jackson arms that she always had in her heyday, immediately clear up all zits, bronze my skin to a perfect golden brown, pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs and all other areas that require depilatory activities, dye my arm-hair blonde, and constantly re-apply mascara and color to my lips. Now, if I could create that, I think I would be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize because all women would be so peaceful and so much less stressed out.

Alright, so that pill will most likely not be something that exists in my lifetime so I better just get used to hitting the gym and eating tomatoes. I’m sure you all saw this one coming, but guess what my New Year’s resolution is? Ding ding ding!!! You guessed it, F*** the bad crap food (except for once and while) and start getting my butt to the gymbo as well as keep you more up-to-date and looped in on my progress. My sneakers, sports bra, t-shirt and leggings are in my desk drawer at work – hopefully I will muster up the motivation to get a head start on 2011.

Fat Girl

P.S. Best wishes for a happy, bottle-poppin, booty-rockin 2011!

Maybe she’s back (from the past? from Greece? for good?)…

Dear my lovely ladies of NYC, America, and the remainder of the internet accessible world,

Again, terribly sorry not to have written in ages, but as mentioned in my prior posts, life as an investment banker is unfortunately consuming my life and my ass. My butt cheeks multiply ten fold everyday and have pretty much surpassed the bounds of all of my jeans (except one amazing pair that I can still manage to squeeze my big booty into). My goals of 125 lbs are completely out of sight at this point, and at this juncture I would be thoroughly elated to step on the scale and see the numbers 1-3-5. My gelatinous cheeks are jiggling at a whopping ~142 lbs, despite my desperately healthy eating habits. I try to consume enough fibers, greens, healthy s*** that don’t taste good to keep the jiggle to a minimum, but despite my best efforts I live on an island with temptation at every twist, turn, corner and spotting of another leggy 6’2″ rexie, thus it can be ever so difficult to avoid the amazingly delectable cuisines perfected all over the world that have been brought to the lips of my fellow non-rexie (and possibly a few rexie) New York ladies. In addition to constant temptation, a boy friend who is completely love blind and thinks I’m still “sexy”, and working from 7 am till 8 or 9 pm on an early night, I have barely made it to the gym.

Around three weeks ago, the bf and I returned from an amazing 10 day trip to Athens, Rhodes, and Santorini, Greece. Before Greece, I was trying to get to the gym every few days per week so as not to be the only beached American whale displaying her rolls on the beach for all those beautiful Euro bodies to see. While we were there, we didn’t worry about what we ate, we drove around the islands all day, we relaxed on beaches AND…..


Now we are back in the states, and again, it appears that we are both packing on the pounds despite eating healthy. Part of me really believes that one of the main contributors to the great American weight problem and the constant struggle of so many women is due to the corrupt and completely disgusting nature of our food industry. I think the key word in that sentence is “industry”. The fact that I described our food system as an industry is the nucleus of this problem. Nothing we consume in this country is untouched by science, chemicals and technology, and while I am a huge supporter of all three of the aforementioned realms of human existence, I don’t necessarily know if my feelings towards combining them with what I put into my body are positive ones.

Well, that was probably an unnecessarily long political blurb on the nature of the food industry in our country, but I think its good for people to be at least aware if not educated regarding what they put into their mouths every single day. A good, entertaining book to read if you’d like to learn more/be completely appalled is Skinny Bitch. While Skinny Bitch, is at its core an attempt to turn all women lusting after long, thin thighs into a vegan (which will never happen for me), it is certainly funny, thought-provoking, and interesting, particularly if you have ever wondered where your food actually comes from or what its actually made of. That being said (errr written), I don’t recommend reading it if you are faint of heart or have the potential to get grossed out easily.

Okay, there’s a lot more to update you on outside of the American food problem – I definitely will include more snippets of my amazing time in Greece, but in the mean time, please have fun browsing some awe inspiring pictures and hopefully in my next post I can upload some of my new favorite Euro workout songs! I am trying to get on and write once a week, so if I’m remiss in my promises please shoot me a line and tell me to WRITE!!!!

Fat Girl

And she’s back…

Hi All,

So sorry for being remiss in my broadcast to the virtual world regarding my adventures as a normal girl trying to keep fit and slim in this crazy city full of bony rexies! So….I have started my job as an investment banker and as I projected in an earlier post, getting to the gym, a full serving of fruits and veggies, and access to healthy eating options is quite the challenge. Therefore, I have inevitably pushed up the numbers on the scale a little bit over the past three months. Now hovering around the 140 lb zone, I cannot wait till I finish up taking all the required exams I need so that I can focus on my health a bit more. (My last exam required for me to continue working in this role is scheduled for tomorrow at 9 am – if I don’t pass, I’m done. No pressure!)

Working around 14 – 16 hours a day leaves little time for socializing, sleeping, taking my clothes to the dry cleaners, running errands, etc. So in all those things that I consider a necessary part of life, it can be hard to make the time to drag myself to the G-Y-M. Yuck – when I have a few hours or get out of work at 8 o’clock on a beautiful summer night, the last thing I want to do is crawl onto an old stinky treadmill at New York’s cheapest gym (I’m a member of NYSC) and sweat and pant like a hamster in a wheel. I would much rather sit outside at a little eatery on a NY sidewalk and people watch with a cheese plate and glass of Pinot Grigio. But wouldn’t we all?

No! Not the rexie, she despises the thought of having to sit at a bar with a glass of wine and a cheese plate as those are all the calories she could consume for an entire week – she would much rather take those few rare snippets of time and climb the stairmaster for two hours after which she might do a routine of free weights and 300 situps accompanied by 10 vinyasa flow sequencies! Ahhhh…where is my inner rexie?

Guess I just don’t have one…While I still want to get to that 125 lb goal, the more time that goes by, the more I start to realize that a healthier option for me might be to get comfortable with myself at 130 lbs which is probably a more attainable and realistic goal for me particularly in my new role.

Well, for all you fat girls out there (and skinny ones), just remember to love your body because no matter what the Maybeline commercials tell you, you were born with it. We are all beautiful, even those of us who have a little too much jiggle in our badunks, big noses, acne, etc…That’s what makes us all beautiful – our imperfections.

Lots of love for my Manhattan ladies as well as my ladies who have scattered all over the US.

Fat Girl

P.S. I will certainly try to make the next post come a little faster!

“Bluffin with My Muffin”

To quote the esteemed and super slender illustrious pop icon of our generation, I have been “Bluffin with My Muffin” in the most literal sense. After watching Hillel Presser from Millionaire Matchmaker last night rave about his glorious muffin company, 1-800-MUFFINS, there is nothing I want more than a fluffy, calorie-ridden muffin infused with tons of sugar and fat. *Sigh* But alas, I have turned to a salad, apple, and small whole wheat roll for lunch accompanied by a light ice sugar free hazelnut coffee from Starbies. Score one point for team “Fat Girl”!

Upon my 1 midtown block walk back from lunch I briskly blew by a total rexie mom surrounded by a gaggle of pubescent long haired wannabees. As I mentioned yesterday, everyday is a constant psychological struggle to overcome the feeling of touching thighs and slight love handles in an oasis of anorexia. At least Momma Rexie wasn’t a total babe.

Fat Girl


Welcome to Fat Girl in New York. So you are all probably wondering exactly how fat I am, the answer is not really fat at all actually, but walking through the anorexic streets of NYC, I feel huge everyday.

I have started this blog to connect to other women in NYC who feel similarly to me. Ladies, we are beautiful the way we are (even the real fat girls out there), and if we feel badly, change is within our power and control. Whether you are 250 lbs at 5’4″ or 110 lbs at 5’6″, you should feel confident in your body, and if you don’t there are many ways to regain that confidence.

While I am not promoting anorexia or constant obsessive weight loss, this blog will focus largely on my journey to achieving a healthy and sustainable weight that I feel comfortable with. My weight loss goals are personal to me and are not within reach for every “fat girl” out there so please do not take my goals and try to make them your own if they are unrealistic or unhealthy for you.

In the beginning of January, I was the heaviest I have ever been at 145 lbs. Since then, I have lost around ten pounds, and I am currently looking to lose another ten to achieve a sustainable 125 lbs. I hope you enjoy reading about my path to weight loss and my crazy experiences in this city.


Fat Girl